brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
