he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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