I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
