does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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