As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
