know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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