I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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