I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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