he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize