Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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