is your mom at the bar?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
