At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
