I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
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Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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