the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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