worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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