it hurts more in the daytime
time to smoke my breakfast
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
