Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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