hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm bleeding and have questions
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
