what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
