drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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