im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Say something about gay babies.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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