Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
