i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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