she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
