Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I wear drunk well.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
