wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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