Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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