8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
