He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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