Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
