escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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