Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
