i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
