these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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