Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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