Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
