carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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