her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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