If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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