so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There r osticjed everywhere
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
