whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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