So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
