I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
