YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
