I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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