I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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