Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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