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i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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