I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
