Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
