1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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