The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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