Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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