gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
