Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And then my night got REAL pukey
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
