i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
foreskin is a definite game changer
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
