I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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