Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
