I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize