are you so shy because you have an std?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize