i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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