Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
