You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize