But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I faked an abortion last night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
